Me

“what is a CHD?”… I could quote terminology…… there’s STATS that i could give… but I would rather share with you… a mother’s perspective…. What is it like to have a child with a CHD ? it’s lasix,aspirin,captopril preparing her meds It’s wondering why us It’s monitors and checking Stats It’s a constant reminder to always give thanks… It’s feeding tubes, calories, trying hard for the needed weight gain… It’s the drama of eating…and yes it’s INSANE ! It’s the first time I held her…(I waited so long!) It’s knowing that I need to help her grow big and strong… It’s making a hospital home for awhile… It’s seeing rewards in her every smile. It’s checking her SATS as the feeding pump’s beeping… It’s knowing that there is just no time for sleeping. It’s heart caths, x-rays and boo boos to kiss… It’s the normalcy that I sometimes miss… It’s asking my friends “does she look blue ? ” It’s cringing inside at what she’s been through. It’s dozens of calls to her pediatrician… ( he knows me by name…we’re on a mission) It’s winters homebound…and hand sanitizer… It’s knowing this journey has made me much wiser. It’s watching her sleeping…her breathing is steady. It’s surgery day and i’ll never be ready!!! It’s handing her over…i’m still not prepared!… It’s knowing that her heart must be repaired…… It’s waiting for news on that long stressful day… It’s praying and hoping…that she’ll be okay… It’s the wonderful friends with whom I’ve connected… It’s the bond that we share…it was so unexpected… It’s that long faded scar that’s going to be down my little girls small chest… It’s touching it gently and knowing we’re blessed… It’s watching her chase a small butterfly… It’s the moment i realized i’ve stopped asking “why?”…


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