You are so special. In fact, you have no idea how incredibly special you are. As I sit here watching you from my cloud in Heaven I giggle and laugh at you down there on Earth completely unaware of the wonders and power that you hold inside of you. I wish I were you. I would do anything to be like you. This will never happen because I am an angel. My name is angel B and I live in Heaven with Holy God.
I have a sweet deal going on up here in Heaven. I have many happy and amazing days with my friends playing in the most fabulous playground you could ever imagine. You see I am a child angel, so I do not get to grow up. I stay a child forever.
I am not your typical Angel. I get into a lot of trouble up here. I am a day dreamer. I love nothing more than flying high around the gardens of heaven, but my favourite thing to do is gaze down on Earth. I could spend days cloud gazing if they let me. Sometimes I get so lost in my own world, I forget things like trumpet practice and when it is our turn to welcome the enlightened soul’s home.
My best friend is Caoimhe and we belong to the family of angels called the Cherubim Angels. We have the most fun job in heaven protecting the gates to paradise. We are all babies and children. Right now you are probably picturing a chubby adorable baby with wings. I look nothing like this. I am nine years old with a heart shaped face. I am tall and thin for my age. I wear the most beautiful white gown and I never leave my cloud without my tiara head band and the biggest brightest smile. I love how my tiara looks when my long brown hair is flowing down my back. My wings are my best feature and they are spectacularly arched high above my head and are made of long feathers as soft as silk and whiter than white. A pure heavenly glow seems to emanate from them. They look so delicate but they are more powerful than anything you have on Earth.
Lately I’ve noticed so many changes in Heaven and on Earth. Everyone just seem so busy all the time. It feels like we are losing our connection with each other. I remember thousands of years ago when we were both so connected, I really miss them days. Not many people on earth speaks to us anymore and it is very lonely for me as I loved hearing stories from you all and sending messages back.
As an Angel I do not have a family like you do. I do not have a mum or dad, brothers or sisters. My family are all the Cherub angels. My only role is to play my golden trumpet in the band during your welcome home party to heaven. This is my role for eternity. I love to pretend that I live on Earth and that I am like you. I imagine what it must be like to live amongst you, to experience all that the world has to offer. The incredible feelings of unconditional love that comes with family, the feeling of belonging with friends. It draws me closer and closer all the time, pulling me like a magnet.
I feel myself falling. I am letting my mind fantasize about living amongst you. I have started to feel sorry for myself and it is causing me to fall. I am falling helplessly into the mind of one of my most favourite people on Earth. Her name is Irene and I have been watching her since she was a little girl.
Everything is blurry, my mind is racing. I am desperately trying to pull myself back up to the comfort of my cloud. It is slipping further and further from my grasp as I frantically fly and grasp the air. Then it happens, I am inside her mind, I have done it again I have let myself fall into her mind so that I can feel what she can feel. Its technically is not allowed up here in Heaven. I will get into awful trouble if I am found out. I allow myself to be washed over with her feelings. I am starting to perceive the world as she does. I am in a blissful dreamland state.
I need to treasure and feel the pleasure, joy and radiant love that you all seem to sometimes take for granted. You know so little about your soul and existence. Your time on Earth is a precious gift and it allows you to learn the lessons that you need for your soul to become enlightened. With each lesson you learn the light inside of you increases. You are so amazing and you don’t even know it.
I bask in this now. I start to feel and I just cannot wait. I am hit with an avalanche of emotions, sadness, sorrow, regret, depression, misery…. The feelings scare me...what is going on. This is not what happened the last time. The last time I was in her mind we were dancing in a pub called Rosie’s in Carrigaline. I was able to look around at all her friends smiling faces dancing with us and it was the most fun and joy I had in my entire existence.
What had happened to you since then? I close my eyes and tuned into the last few years of your life. The years I missed. I stood in the middle as I watched your life flash in moments before my eyes on a big screen that surrounded me in a circle. I stood in the middle and watched in dismay as I saw you cry. I felt the dagger of a knife when you lost your first baby. Then quickly followed by the loss of another precious baby. I saw you fall further and further into distress. I felt your husband’s immense pain as he looked into your broken eyes trying desperately to fix things for you.
I feel the fear as you find yourself carrying a precious baby for the third time. Everyone around you is in pure delight but the fear is growing inside your heart, you know there is something not right with your baby. I decide to peek, maybe I can reassure you. I tune into your baby’s mind and am instantly gripped with the same intense fear. Oh, my goodness how can this be. As an angel I can see the beautiful illuminating light of all your souls that radiates from each one of you. Your soul is a beacon of light that surrounds you and the light shines in different colours for you all, it is as unique as your fingerprint. This beautiful baby had no radiating light around it. This can only mean one thing, this baby has no soul.
I am instantly catapulted back to heaven with an immense force I had never felt before. What in the world was I going to do? I could pretend that the whole thing had not happened. How could I reveal the truth? I knew however that I just had to be honest as this was a major glitch on earth and would have implications for the heavens. I knew that no baby could ever be born without a soul.
I headed to Caoimhe’s cloud and explained to her what had just happened. Her beautiful little head was fiery red. She sat motionless on her cloud for what seemed like an eternity. Then she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. For the first time in our whole existence Caoimhe was speechless.
As I patiently waited for a solution from her I started flying around above her cloud while she drummed her left leg against her right. She always did this when she was deep in thought. I saw her face as her plan for action was coming to a head. Finally, she looked up and said, “right let’s go”. “Go where I asked” . “There is only one place to go B, To the Seraphim headquarters.” I knew she was right, but I could not help but feel like running away and hiding in my cloud for the rest of eternity.
We fly in silence to the Seraphim Headquarters. I could see many VIP angels flying around the outside. These angels are the closet to God and interact with him daily on all matters of business. It was at that very moment that I saw him, it was Angel Uriel. I thought I was going to faint. I had posters of him in my cloud. I always dreamed of meeting him one day. He is simply dreamy. I pulled at Caoimhe’s wings. She looked over at my star glazed face. “Really B, really are you being serious right now? Please concentrate”
I watched in awe as she calmly flew up to the reception desk. A cranky, ill-tempered Angel named Cassiel barely looked up from his computer as he grouchily asked the nature of our visit. We confidently stated our case. At first he looked down at us in amusement. I knew what he was thinking. To entertain us he asked me the name of the person that I had visited on earth and found out that her baby had no soul. For a split second I heard how ridiculous and unbelievable my claim was. I was just about to say sorry for wasting his time when I felt a kick on my leg from Caoimhe. I reluctantly handed Irene’s details over.
Angel Cassiel typed the details into his computer as we waited patiently. I wondered if I would be the laughing stock of the Cherub angels tomorrow. If I were wrong and this information got out I would be rightly mocked for a least a millennium. Then suddenly all hell broke loose in our beautiful heavens. I have not seen this much commotion since Lucifer the “fallen angel“ was kicked out.
We stood with our mouths open as thousands of VIP Angels came out of nowhere and filed in one by one to the Heavens Hall of Justice. Soon the heavy wooden doors closed in front of us and we were the only two left outside the room. We waited outside for hours. Finally, the gigantic doors burst open and standing in front of us was God. I start to shake from my little toes to the top of my wings. He smiles at us both and invites us in. We walk up the long aisle with thousands of seats lined either side. The red carpet beneath our feet feels as soft as feathers. It takes forever to walk to the top. I can see that Caoimhe is familiar with all the VIP angels lined up seated behind an official looking court table. Now it was her turn to be star struck.
You could hear a pin drop in the deafening silence of the gigantic room. God spoke to us both. “A trial has taken place just now in our Heavenly court. Evidence has been submitted and a conclusion has been reached.” I think I might be sick right here in front of the thousands of Angels. The decision of the court is unanimous. We would like to thank you both for bringing this extremely distressing situation to our attention. No baby can be born without a soul. It is an extremely grave matter but thanks to you we have time to rectify the problem.
After viewing Heavens surveillance, we have discovered that you Angel B are the most qualified for the job we require right now. A decision has been made and we all agree that we must send you to this family. We are loaning them an Angel from heaven. You will live on Earth with the family as their child but you will always remain an angel. We can only send you to Earth to live up to the age you are now. When you reach your heavenly age you must return to us. I was delirious with excitement and then I caught the look in my best friends’ eyes. We had never been parted before.
I heard God speak once more. “Angel Caoimhe as you have been Angel Bs protector for all of her existence we would like you to become her guardian Angel. You are wise beyond your years and we know that you will do a fantastic job. I thought she was going to freak out and do a happy dance right there standing in front of the Heavenly hall of justice with thousands of angels watching her. Thankfully she composed herself and graciously accepted her new role as my guardian angel. I couldn’t believe our luck. I let what God had just said sink in. I little old Angel B from the Cherub family had just been in tasked with one of the most important jobs that heaven had seen for a very long time. I was to be sent to live on Earth as one of you. I was ecstatic. God saw how overjoyed I was.
“Please remember you must return to heaven exactly 10 years from now. That date will be the 16th of September 2020. You are both Angels. You are not Spirits and you never well be. You are not going to be like your family and friends on Earth, you will be different and stand out. When you return home to us you will never see them again. When it is their time to return to heaven they will come as enlightened souls and join their family. You both will return to your cherub family. Do you both understand what this means?”
I knew that this would be one of the hardest things that I would ever have to do. I knew I would get close to this family, I already loved them. If someone told me I could never see Caoimhe again I do not know what I would do. I know that the happiness that surrounds me would fade and there was an excessively big possibility that I would end up like the cranky Angel Cassiel.
I also knew that this was perhaps the most important role that any angel would have to undertake and that it was a privilege and honour to be asked to undertake it by God. I was getting my dream come true to live amongst all of you. I was going to take on a physical form so I would be able to feel all the joys and wonders that you do.
I confidently looked up at God and thanked him for the privilege he was bestowing on me. I heard a tremendous round of applause from our fellow Angels. I looked over at my friend and she was beaming from ear to ear. She so deserved this. I was excited for her, I was excited for us and the wonderful journey we both were about to embark on. I hear God say “You will leave heaven immediately”.
Next thing I know we are falling. I am completely powerless to stop what is happening. I cannot move. I look up at the white tunnel of light as it slowly gets weaker and weaker and final fades away. Caoimhe is right next to me on my shoulder. She is even smaller than she is in heaven. She shrinks so much that eventually she is only a little beam of light siting on my shoulder. I am changing as well. My body is becoming a fat, cute, chubby baby. I look down and I am completely naked. Oh, my goodness this is embarrassing. Next thing the falling sensation stops. I feel flutters, gas, bubbles a light flickering sensation on my skin. I never feel anything on my skin. My wings are gone but I am suspended in a pool and I can swim around and around. It is fun, I feel happy. I can hear something on the outside faint mumbling sounds. I recognize the voice. It is Irene. Something is wrong, I hear another voice now, it is clearer. “Something is wrong with your baby” I hear her say. I try to tell them all that its ok, I am here, I saved the day. Then I hear the words ”it is your baby’s heart. She only has half a heart. I am not sure she will be compatible with life”.